King Claw on the Air Guitar Throne

Tiger Claw once sold his soul to the devil, for his unparalled air guitar ability. Shortly after the transaction, Claw ripped out the devil's heart in exchange for his soul. The devil, who always appreciated irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have saw it coming. They now play poker and jam every second Wednesday.

Latest addition to the SF AirForce

The SF AirForce proudly welcomes multi-city competitor and two-time SF performer (2009), from Minneapolis, MN, representing the Twin Cities Chapter up north, Lost Heartbreaker. Salute...

Classification: Inactive, on administrative leave

Due to the upcoming 2011 US Air Guitar Competition, Bjorn Turoque, the tour host/emcee, and Hot Lixx Hulahan, one of several tour judges, are temporarily suspended from any and all activity involving the SF AirForce. Status: inactive, on administrative leave. We wish them well in their tour across America, and will welcome them back into the fold after the conclusion of the US Competition.

US Regional dates announced..

www.usairguitar.com

SF is June 24 & 25, returning to The Independent on Divisadero. Back to 2 shows.

more info at this link:

http://www.plusonemusic.net/cloud/USAG_2011_AnnouncementFanBlast.html

time to turn it up, troops...

Did I Mention??

Brock will head the Southern Chapter based out of Texas. So now we got two chapters outside of the Bay Area - Southern (TX), headed by McRock, and Northeast (NY), headed by Stinkfingers. Kicking ass and taking names...

SF AirForce debuts new regional chapter..

Well, the cat's out of the bag. But to make it official, Claw read the background, and beside the awesome shameless self-promotion that only Tiger Claw could appreciate, the number of appearances in such a short period of time is more than worthy. Me only hopes the rest of the force agrees. In just the first year, the McRocker competed not in one, but 6, yup, SIX, competitions - Austin, Houston, Boulder, Denver, Vegas and New York. Came in 3rd in Vegas, and 2nd in both Austin AND Houston, missing the prize by .01 point. claw thinks he's worthy. It's mortal combat now - IT HAS BEGUN...

Power of the Pen..

Two essays as proof positive as to the power of air guitar. working on a couple myself. As all of you should be. so let's see them. 100 words or less. What air guitar means to and does for you.

AIR QUANTA

Quantum entanglement is the property by which two or more objects are connected in such a way that if one object is affected, the other object experiences the same result. (Like in the Corsican Brothers)

It is thereby possible that the act of playing air guitar, (i.e. invoking the quanta of Rock) could in fact alter the state of any number of people around the world. More specifically, playing air guitar just by itself, can make someone, some where, play air guitar as well.

Imagine sitting in the middle of a battle field, and everyone has been fighting for days. The fight is at a draw at best and neither side knows what they are fighting for anymore. All of the sudden the man across from you drops his gun and starts wringing out his hand like he has a cramp. “What’s wrong?” The man’s eyes get big as he looks behind you and sees all the people you were fighting cramp up and drop their guns too. You go to pick up your rifle but your hands seem to cramp up just like everyone else. Frantically, you begin to shake. One hand is holding an invisible apple, and the other hand has your finger and thumb pinching an invisible bug.

A rhythm begins to emerge, and it appears that everyone is cramping at the same time; wringing their hands to some unheard tempo. Meanwhile, back in New York, the Us Air Guitar Championship has commenced to play Freebird with everyone in attendance.

Thanks to the application of Quantum Entanglement, this scenario is entirely possible…..

All you have to do, is believe

Bring peace tonight people


CHAMPIONS OF PEACE

Every musician has the dream of bringing peace to the world through song. A song that inspires everyone. A meal that everyone can eat. As we musicians grow older, we realize that this has in fact been attempted by many different bands with varying success. Give Peace a Chance, We are the World, Killing in the Name Of, these were all made with the intention of spontaneous peace throughout the world. Hell, mothers day was originally an anti war holiday with the idea that if all mothers stood up to protect the life that only they can create, (if all moms went outside and told their kids to stop fighting) there would be peace for at least a day. If air guitar has taught me one thing, it’s how to lose with dignity. If it’s taught me two things it’s that peace is a journey, not a destination.

When an air guitarist takes the stage, quantum entanglement takes hold, and the power of rock envelopes not just all those in attendance, but also all of those who share the dream of peace through music. When the song is done, the trance is broken and in the few seconds after a routine, while everyone screams with their faces melted, there is a contented sigh of relief and a small pocket of this world (possibly others) experience that indescribable bliss that only comes after sex, -I mean watching sex, -I mean watching air guitar.

But then, the world seeps back in through the cracks, and only another round of air guitar can bring that relief we all so desperately crave. Without these men and women channeling the power of music through a one minute orgasm on stage, we would only have half the equation.

Air guitar is creation. When you hear a record you love, you are really looking at a picture of the magic that happened in the studio, and even then, you are really only receiving one tenth the power of that real moment when a song came together for the first time. Even the recording itself can barely begin to capture the essence of pure musical creation.

This is where air guitar comes in. By using the art of air guitar, a person is able to channel the un-recordable energy that was born with the song. Every air guitarist has the power to channel that which even a record cannot hold. This is what judges refer to as “airness”. Airness is harnessing the newborn energy of music that was never meant to be heard, but was meant to be seen. This energy, and those of us who wield it, are the missing ingredient. Music does have the power to bring world peace. The musicians have done their part, now it is up to air guitarists everywhere to complete the recipe and make the dream a reality.

Because the result of peace depends on the performance of air guitar, there is no end to the work we have to do to ensure world peace. Even the crowned world champion of air guitar knows that rock must be provided 24 hours a day. Not just by musicians, but the air guitarists who embody the enjoyment of music and make the invisible visible. Air guitar is what world peace looks like and because of that, the journey to world peace is never done.

SF AirForce Welcomes...

Sergeant-Major Dirty Airy, as SF AirForce's newest officer. Dirty Airy holds the distinction of being the first recipient of US Air Guitar's prestigious Profile Of Excellence In The Field Of Magnificence Award, of which there are only two so far (the other being Claw). What are the odds of both being from the Bay Area. Welcome aboard, Dirty Airy.

A round of applause to all for the cause
we, the jedis of air guitar, are thee force to be reckoned with, across the land.
The force is stong with us...

TC on usairguitar.com

http://www.usairguitar.com/home/?currentPage=2

now why didn't anyone tell me about this...ha!

Watville Primary School Sing Iron Maiden - Flight Of Icarus

Tiger Claw pure metal mayhem...

Welcome Aboard...

While outside air guitarists, such as the prospect Brock McRock, require a vote to get in, other former SF competitors are always honored with a position in the ranks.

Please welcome Davis "Air Guitar" Freeberg as a Sgt-Major, with two previous appearances; the first being the SF debut in 2006, and one more after that.

You may or may not remember him, but in the first one (2006), he was handed the first spot, and was the third, missing, Blues Brother. He is also a former associate of Claw under cover of daylight, and truly has a love for the music, and the passion for air.

He also has decided to embrace us with his presence at this year's SFAG Competition.

Love Songs triumphant return!
Followed by an immediate departure!
For those not in the know (or who don't read Spanish),
Jackson has moved to Argentina. Like, forever.
If Google Translator is correct he is also married.

(pause to spit out drink)

I also have it on good authority that he now wears patchouli and glow sticks. Gee, if only Jackson, international man of mystery, were around to dispute this rumor...
But wait, against all visa regulations and stipulations he IS returning to the Bay Area!

For a scant 10 days (or "40 burritos," using Jack's metrics) Jack will be stumbling in and around the greater San Francisco area, unprepared but willing to rock some highly-charged sexual ambiguity back into your lives! Come say Hi! Share a beer with him! Ask him all the questions you can think of and be thrilled and baffled by the creatively evasive answers you'll receive!

SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY
ONE SHOW ONLY
Sunday, March 13
Eli's Mile High Club
3629 Martin Luther King Jr. Way @ 37th St
Oakland, CA
Spinning Vinyl: D.J. WHAT'S HIS FUCK starts off the night
HOORAY FOR EVERYTHING
MASTER VOLUME
LOVE SONGS
Show at 6 Ð over by 11!!!
$6.00 Admission / 21+
VERY CHEAP Drink Special
Pool Table / Hot Food and Snacks / Full Bar
Eli's Mile High Club

(PLEASE NOTE: Eli's Mile High Club is B.A.R.T. friendly and is located only 3 blocks from the MacArthur B.A.R.T. station. Last trains run from this station, in all directions, at 12:45am!)

Freeberg on fire..

I stand corrected. there was a second appearance by the Freeberg. Above is from the first SF show, 2006.

Draft Notice..

Okay, it's early. Drafts really won't happen till AFTER the 2011 competition, when many hear about what is happening here, and sign on the dotted line. we're elite, and any who want on board, need to be vouched for. we're tight. We're family. Can't let just anyone in.

Anyway, Claw is hereby vouching for an air guitarist who competed back in the first SF Comp, 2006. It was the only one. and probably for good reason, as he had to go out first. Not to mention the track chosen. Lesson learned. Those who've been there from the beginning might remember, Davis "air guitar" Freeberg. Maybe not the name, but the track aired. He was also a work associate of Claw.

He's decided to return to the air guitar stage this year, and Claw believes he deserves a spot in the ranks of the SF AirForce, as a Captain, for at least competing once (2006), and surviving that first time of being #1 in the lineup, which we all know, SUCKS.

If there are any thumbs-down, speak now, or forever hold your peace. If not, welcome him into the fold, and hope he changes his stage name. After all, it's in the SFAG rulebook that "air" not be used as part of it.

Sidenote: if you can't remember who the seven samurai are, they are part of the Tiger Claw Clan, with the Seven Samurai being the original seven supporters from the beginning, with a couple other "honorary samurai" added to the Clan (BT, HLH).

Funny story, since most are at my place of business, most others are on the next level, that being Warriors, which is nothing to balk at, there are other levels lower (guardians, sponsors, etc). But a couple, no, several, of these warriors, balked at being relegated to warrior status, and not samurai. They pleaded their case, and Claw understood, but had to split the Samurai into Level 1 and Level 2. The original seven, created to mirror the Seven Samurai from the film of the same name, hold the Level 1 position, while new additions are at Level 2. This is fun, ain't it?! Level 1 is 4-life. You cannot move up to Level 1 unless one from Level 1 passes on, or chooses to remove themselves. To move up to Level 1, it must be a majority vote of the remaining samurai of Level 1. As for those in the SFAF, you are elite, and above samurai, being actual fighters for air guitar. More to follow...

Formal Fantasy Masquerade..

Passing on a new venture by SFAF's Crusher. Check it out. Claw doesn't have to tell you what a mask can do for your persona and reputation.

https://www.facebook.com/FormalFantasyMasquerade

By the way, hey Crusher, pay no attention to the pic. Don't want to see your ass creeping up on me like Dog the Bounty Hunter.

R.I.P. Gary Moore

I just read that one-time Thin Lizzy guitarist and solo artist, Gary Moore, passed away yesterday. Here's a link to my man Steven Seaweed of The Bone, about a story involving Peter Green (Fleetwood Mac) and Gary Moore:

http://ksanfm.dnn.cumulus.net/BoneJocks/StevenSeaweed/tabid/262/Default.aspx

My first hearing of him was while at KRQR in 1990, right before I left, when Still Got The Blues came out. Great stuff. Did a cover of Orbison's Oh Pretty Woman. But the solo on the title track, is the air bomb. If you listen, you can hear him hit the lead pedal, and the rest is history.

If you can find anything of his in your collection, or online, do so, and air it out of respect.

The Chase Is Better Than The Catch..

In honor of the recent show, Hot Lixx celebrating with the godfather himself. Absynthe anyone? Nice sandwich, dudes.

Zona In Da Hizzah..

First, the Claw disclaimer. Our elite force, based on the sheer comraderie of all, air guitar will always be the foundation, but as a secondary family, Claw would like to think, and prefers to believe, has transcended. This means whatever happens in our lives, each of us are welcome to the events of others, air guitar-related, OR NOT.

After all, as much as air guitar means to the Claw, seeing other air guitarists playing actual, real, guitar, technically, should be considered a sin, as dictated by the air guitar gods, but Claw extends a pass anyway. Call it a mulligan. But only to family members.

Claw will update soon on the tri-gathering (Hot Lixx, Cold Steel, Awesome) at Gilman this evening, for which Claw was unable to attend. He did have a chance to swing by for a cameo at our correspondent's gallery get-together. That would be April Air-Niel's soiree, at her homebase, the Cafe Royale, at Post/Leavenworth. It was a composite of 8 different artists in the field of photography. April was prominently displayed, aside all the other, dare I say, inferior, wall-mounted attempts at capturing something in the still of the moment.

But seriously, folks, it was a nice display of the world around us, in color, and black 'n'white, for all to see. O'Niel was the shizziel. Nice work, Zona, the mastadona, of the new world.

Of course, Claw wouldn't be Claw without stirring up the shiznit by swearing, hot damn, not a single shot of one of us on stage, doin' our thang, holdin' nothin' in hand...no biggie. That's reserved for another day, when it's all about us, and nothing else. All in good time.

Like Claw says, it's about you and what you're doing, and not about us and what we're doing...

"In space, no one can hear you play."

Happy New Year / Gung Hay Fat Choy

Greetings special forces. 2011 promises to be an exciting year, so say the air guitar gods. It's still off-season, but stuff is always happening. Sometimes, more than one on the same day. Here's a couple events coming up this Thursday, which also happens to be Chinese New Year. I suppose the fact that Cold Steel Renegade is performing, in the Year of the Hair, i mean, Hare, is no coincidence. Also present will be Awesome, who's got some hair of his own, even though it comes off after the performance (heh heh), and Hot Lixx Hulahan. (one of Claw's resolutions for 2011 is the aquisition of wheels, so he can finally get around to these shows that are currently out of his reach) Here's the invite:

"Hey folks... Cold Steel Renegade here to let you know about an upcoming show this Thursday at THE GILMAN in Berkeley. Come watch me break wind and get your face melted in the process, as I violently milk notes from a guitar resulting from advanced delusions. If that wasn't enough, there will be performances by local comedian Alex Koll AKA Air Guitar legend [Awesome], 2008 Air Guitar WORLD Champ Hot Lixxx Hulahan, and Bobby Joe Ebola and the Children Macnuggits. To see you there would be a blessing, and potentially arousing."


It's at Gilman in Berkeley, which, aside from the fact it's two days away, and short notice, may not necessarily be possible for many, but if you can show up, show your support.

Locally, our resident SF AirForce correspondent, April Air-Neil (Christine Zona), has an event going on at the Cafe Royale on 800 Post St. and Leavenworth. It's called "Together Forever". Here are the details:

"Together Forever is a photography show that captures the human spirit in all its glory. Featuring the works of 7 Bay Area photographers:

Christine Zona: http://www.czona.com/
I'm a toy camera addict. I was voted the 3rd Best Portrait Photographer in the Bay Area. I love making the mundane seem otherworldly. My best photographs are full of emotion, textures, and surprises."

You can view the other six at this link:

http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=187345021291530

Also up on the Air-Niel blog, is a piece on our own Alex Koll, aka Awesome. Claw apologies for the delay, since this was posted back in November of 2010.

http://blog.czona.com/


If any of youz got info on upcoming showz, send The Claw a shout-out, and I'll pass along the 411.

Welcome to the new year. Both of them.

"Lions are cool, but Tiger rulz."