Two essays as proof positive as to the power of air guitar. working on a couple myself. As all of you should be. so let's see them. 100 words or less. What air guitar means to and does for you.
AIR QUANTA
Quantum entanglement is the property by which two or more objects are connected in such a way that if one object is affected, the other object experiences the same result. (Like in the Corsican Brothers)
It is thereby possible that the act of playing air guitar, (i.e. invoking the quanta of Rock) could in fact alter the state of any number of people around the world. More specifically, playing air guitar just by itself, can make someone, some where, play air guitar as well.
Imagine sitting in the middle of a battle field, and everyone has been fighting for days. The fight is at a draw at best and neither side knows what they are fighting for anymore. All of the sudden the man across from you drops his gun and starts wringing out his hand like he has a cramp. “What’s wrong?” The man’s eyes get big as he looks behind you and sees all the people you were fighting cramp up and drop their guns too. You go to pick up your rifle but your hands seem to cramp up just like everyone else. Frantically, you begin to shake. One hand is holding an invisible apple, and the other hand has your finger and thumb pinching an invisible bug.
A rhythm begins to emerge, and it appears that everyone is cramping at the same time; wringing their hands to some unheard tempo. Meanwhile, back in New York, the Us Air Guitar Championship has commenced to play Freebird with everyone in attendance.
Thanks to the application of Quantum Entanglement, this scenario is entirely possible…..
All you have to do, is believe
Bring peace tonight people
CHAMPIONS OF PEACE
Every musician has the dream of bringing peace to the world through song. A song that inspires everyone. A meal that everyone can eat. As we musicians grow older, we realize that this has in fact been attempted by many different bands with varying success. Give Peace a Chance, We are the World, Killing in the Name Of, these were all made with the intention of spontaneous peace throughout the world. Hell, mothers day was originally an anti war holiday with the idea that if all mothers stood up to protect the life that only they can create, (if all moms went outside and told their kids to stop fighting) there would be peace for at least a day. If air guitar has taught me one thing, it’s how to lose with dignity. If it’s taught me two things it’s that peace is a journey, not a destination.
When an air guitarist takes the stage, quantum entanglement takes hold, and the power of rock envelopes not just all those in attendance, but also all of those who share the dream of peace through music. When the song is done, the trance is broken and in the few seconds after a routine, while everyone screams with their faces melted, there is a contented sigh of relief and a small pocket of this world (possibly others) experience that indescribable bliss that only comes after sex, -I mean watching sex, -I mean watching air guitar.
But then, the world seeps back in through the cracks, and only another round of air guitar can bring that relief we all so desperately crave. Without these men and women channeling the power of music through a one minute orgasm on stage, we would only have half the equation.
Air guitar is creation. When you hear a record you love, you are really looking at a picture of the magic that happened in the studio, and even then, you are really only receiving one tenth the power of that real moment when a song came together for the first time. Even the recording itself can barely begin to capture the essence of pure musical creation.
This is where air guitar comes in. By using the art of air guitar, a person is able to channel the un-recordable energy that was born with the song. Every air guitarist has the power to channel that which even a record cannot hold. This is what judges refer to as “airness”. Airness is harnessing the newborn energy of music that was never meant to be heard, but was meant to be seen. This energy, and those of us who wield it, are the missing ingredient. Music does have the power to bring world peace. The musicians have done their part, now it is up to air guitarists everywhere to complete the recipe and make the dream a reality.
Because the result of peace depends on the performance of air guitar, there is no end to the work we have to do to ensure world peace. Even the crowned world champion of air guitar knows that rock must be provided 24 hours a day. Not just by musicians, but the air guitarists who embody the enjoyment of music and make the invisible visible. Air guitar is what world peace looks like and because of that, the journey to world peace is never done.
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